I’ll never forget one of my first clients. She was a mom of 2 boys and a girl, around 40 years old, exhausted from all her duties in both her personal and professional career, and had a goal of losing 40 pounds.
At the outset she was my typical client. She put herself last in so many instances and I was not the first trainer she worked with. She had done the yo-yo dieting many times and she had started and stopped her gym membership more times that she could remember.
Truth be told, when I first met her she stated that if I couldn’t help her then no one could.
I could tell she was worn out. Tired of battling years and years of feeling bad about her body.
She was a kind woman, and a great mother.
She was highly valued at work.
Her husband loved her dearly.
Yet, she couldn’t accept any of it. She just felt like a failure because her weight was something she was unhappy with and couldn’t get under control.
As I sat and listened to her journey I started noticing a pattern. When things got a little tough for her personally she would allow herself to skip a workout or eat something not healthy – like 3 glazed donuts.
And that would snowball into skipping more workouts and eating ice cream for dessert each night, and the next thing she knew … well, she was right back to where she started and usually a little heavier than before.
So I knew that during our time together I would have to work with her and teach her the “magic of a moment.”
The Magic of the Moment
That opportunity came during our third week together. The honeymoon phase was wearing off and I could tell she was losing some of her initial drive to make this permanent lifestyle change and achieve her goal.
This is normal. Most of my clients come in strong and then peter out at some point. We all do this. It’s why any habit is hard to change.
So during one of those workouts I could see that she was struggling to continue. Her energy was low. I could tell she was having a conversation with herself in her head that was filled with anger, frustration, and sadness.
So I stopped the exercise she was doing. I looked her directly in the eyes and said, “This moment matters.”
She started to tear up – and was a little confused, I’m sure.
I continued on, “This moment matters. What you say to yourself right now, what decisions you make right now … will matter in the next minute, the next hour, and for the rest of your life. Tell me what is going through your mind.”
How You Talk To Yourself Matters
She started telling me all of her thoughts. She said things like:
- I’m not good enough.
- The unwanted weight will always be there.
- I’m a failure.
- I’m not capable.
- My goal is too big.
- I’m a miserable middle-aged lady that no one really likes.
- I’m embarrassed.
… and so on.
I let her go on until she took a deep breath and just sat there quietly with me.
I looked at her again and said, “This moment matters. All of those thoughts are not serving your goal. So your decision right now is to decide to let those thoughts go. Don’t trust them. Make a decision right now in this moment that you’ll be happy with 3 hours from now and 2 weeks from now. What you decide right now matters.”
She got up from the bench she was sitting on and we proceeded to continue the workout.
This moment often escapes us. We lose it to the thoughts in our head. We lose the power of this moment and our decisions.
Right now you’re reading this and having your own thoughts. What will you decide to do with this moment? What decision will you make?
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